


Nightmares

by x_jeanne_x



Series: Final Fantasy VII Prompts & Oneshots [12]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Post Advent Children, Reno dealing with PTSD and nightmares, excessive use of swear words, for once a not always joking Reno, mentioning of Sector 7 Plate drop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 08:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20444147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_jeanne_x/pseuds/x_jeanne_x
Summary: Usually Reno had no problems dealing with the consequences of their shitty jobs. But that Sector 7 Plate was something Reno couldn't forget for a very long time.





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Albträume](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575329) by [x_jeanne_x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_jeanne_x/pseuds/x_jeanne_x)

The sound of explosions and buildings collapsing… People screaming in agony…  
Reno woke up with a start and, a little disoriented, sat up, sweating due to the nightmare which was still tormenting him from time to time. With a shudder and a deep sigh he rubbed his face, trying to get the images of the falling Sector 7 Plate out of his head.  
  
More than three years, and he still woke up in cold sweat in alarmingly regular intervals from the dreams which made him relive the horrors of what he’d done on that day. One and a half years during which he’d somehow managed to keep those nightly episodes secret from the guy currently sleeping beside him. The same bastard who got the order to blow up one of the pillars holding the plate to blame Avalanche from their then vice president, and who’d passed it along to him. At that time, Reno had only executed what they wanted him to do, didn’t know of the aftermath which would continue to haunt him for years the moment he pressed that fucking button on the pillar’s terminal. He’d been half dead from stalling for time when those Avalanche guys and Strife were trying to stop the plans the young Shinra had set in motion on that evening. Couldn’t think clearly anymore due to the blood loss when he somehow managed to get to safety before the timer expired and the bomb went off, all thanks to the adrenaline rushing through his veins at that time. And when he finally lost consciousness all those small things of the incident had already been etched into his mind: the rumbling sound of the plate coming down, crushing all those poor souls in the slums down there who weren’t lucky enough to get out in time, dozens, maybe hundreds of people, the screams of those running for dear life, the crying and wailing of all the people losing sight of their family and friends, the heat and the red light of fire illuminating the sky, the stench of the combination of smoke, blood and burnt bodies. He’d still had enough time to realise that he was the one responsible for that.  
  
“Shit,” Reno muttered, shuddered again when he felt bile rising in his throat and looked around. Cigarettes…He really needed a smoke right now. Fuck that it was in the middle of the night. Fuck that Tseng hated it when he smoked in the bedroom. With a bitter smile he glanced to Tseng to see if he was still sleeping and mused if his boss only let him think that he didn’t know about the… what did they call it? Post-stress...? Post-stress-something? No, it was something with post-trauma, he remembered, but Reno wasn’t sure about the rest - not that he cared too much about names, it didn’t change the fact that on these nights he was sure he wouldn’t get any more sleep. Although, he corrected himself, he wasn’t even quite sure if Tseng really didn’t know of his nightly episodes. That man tended to notice even the smallest things, but kept his mouth shut until he could use them to his advantage. Reno had already experienced himself how ruthless Tseng could be regarding information when needed, but shook his head to get rid of these thoughts. Worrying about that also wouldn’t help him sleep, but maybe one of those fucking cigarettes, if he could find them… He looked around for his suit jacket, which he’d just thrown to the floor in the evening, quietly got up after he spotted it, and a little wobbly went to get it - or rather the cigarette package and lighter from its pocket. Hoping the nicotine would help to stop his mind from spinning, help him to calm down a bit, he took the few steps to the window, opened it and then hastily lighted one of the cigarettes. With closed eyes he took a deep first drag, and then slowly exhaled the smoke again.  
Reno looked down to the street in front of the building they were living in, thinking how calm Healen was, compared to Midgar. Sometimes he missed the bustling of the large city, but then his thoughts again turned back to those freaking memories of the plate. Oh, how he wanted to curse himself right now for getting so wound up by a nightmare of events which happened years back, but instead he shakily guided the cigarette to his lips once more, even if that didn’t help as much as he’d hoped it would.  
  
“Reno, come back to bed,” Tseng murmured sleepily only a few moments later, a thick Wutaian accent lacing his words, which made Reno jump in surprise and nearly drop the still lit, unfinished cigarette, as he’d been too deep in thought to notice that Tseng had woken up as well. At other times Reno would comment on how hot that accent was and that Tseng shouldn’t always worry that much about proper articulation, but right now he couldn’t care less.  
“For fuck’s sake!” he complained, unsure if he was pissed at Tseng for being such a sneaky bastard, or at himself for being startled and nearly screaming like a girl because due to his musings, he’d only concentrated on bringing his hand holding the cigarette to his mouth.  
“Just lemme have this smoke in peace,” Reno murmured. A little voice in his head whispered that he should probably wonder why Tseng acknowledged neither that, nor the fact that he was up in the middle of the night, sweat-soaked and a complete mess. But exactly Tseng not commenting on any of these things and only quietly staring at him told Reno what he needed to know - of course his partner had noticed. Well, fuck this shit. As Tseng’s eyes boring into him through the dark alone felt like an accusation already, he angrily turned around to look out of the window again and finished the cigarette, contemplating for a minute if he should just light the next one right after.  
  
And still he felt that asshole’s eyes on his back. It didn’t take Reno too long until he couldn’t stand that anymore and noisily closed the window, stubbed out the end of the cigarette right there on the windowsill, and turned around to face Tseng again in the dim, from the street lights outside only half-illuminated room.  
“What?!” Reno snapped at him, furious about that fucker’s distanced behaviour, and yet he loved the Wutaian bastard so much he would give his life for him without batting an eye, even if he was nearly constantly grinding Reno’s gears with that sophisticated, superior attitude. As he didn’t get an answer, he returned to the bed and sat down on his half, cross-legged. Nervously fumbling with the cigarette package he brought back with him, he first glanced at Tseng, who was lying on his side, facing him, his head supported by one hand, then at his own hands.  
  
“How long have ya known?” Reno asked, continuing to twist the package between his fingers.  
“How long have I known what?” Tseng countered, still not awake enough to speak without an accent, but attentive nonetheless. “That you’re getting up, pale as a sheet, to wander around like a ghost like… once a week, maybe? I noticed it the first time it happened after we’ve started sharing a bed, and I’ve been noticing it every time since then.”  
Of course. “Bastard,” Reno grumbled. “Ya could’ve said something.”  
Tseng only shrugged. “Thought you had your reasons to keep it secret from me... Nightmares, huh? Wouldn’t have expected you to suffer from PTSD with your not-a-care-in-the-world attitude before witnessing that.”  
Reno stared at him in disbelief when he heard those words. That Wutaian had a twisted way of thinking. “Whoa, ya’re a sensitive one tonight, aren’t ya? Even someone like me has limits, ya know?” he snarled. “It was yer fucking order which caused this, by the way,” he added.  
Tseng ignored the accusation, and Reno noticed that he obviously didn’t plan on asking what those limits were. Knowing Tseng, that could mean that he either didn’t care, or that this was his way to tell Reno he would listen if he wanted to talk about it, though what it was tonight, he couldn’t tell.  
  
At least that was what Reno thought at first, because it took Tseng quite some time until the next words left his lips. “Is that so?” he asked slowly, and Reno could see that the other was trying to figure out which order that had been.  
“‘Course ya’ve no idea, eh?” Reno muttered. “Ya gave the order and flew off to…” He paused and took a deep breath, as he’d just wanted to blurt out “to go fuck the flower girl”, but remembered this was a dangerous topic, and it was a discussion he didn’t want to have right now. They were through that and he knew Tseng was still haunted by the memories of the girl, so Reno didn’t have to rub it in once again as well. So he continued only with “...to some other business. Ya weren’t there when the rest of us had to deal with the shit afterwards. I don’t even know who dragged me out of there back then.”  
“...You’re talking about the Sector 7 Plate,” Tseng stated after he got what Reno was hinting at. “Rufus’ order which I distributed to you. This is still freaking you out?” he asked incredulously, as he hadn’t expected that a few explosions and some collapsed stuff would still be on Reno’s mind.  
“Yeah, that.” Reno nodded. “And don’tcha fucking dare talk that down. Ya didn’t witness the chaos, the fires, the dozens of dead bodies between the rubble. Ya didn’t hear the sound of the plate crashing down, the screams, the wailing afterwards. Ya didn’t smell the smoke, the blood, the cold sweat of hundreds of innocent people trying to save their lives. Yeah, this is still freaking me out and the memories alone make me want to vomit.”  
  
Reno noticed that his partner was again keeping quiet while he studied him. “I hope you don’t expect me to apologise or to pity you, because I won’t do either of that. We’re Turks. Following orders is what we do, and as your boss I can distribute them as I see fit.”  
  
“The last thing I’d need is pity, and I certainly wouldn’t need it from _you_,” Reno threw in and interrupted Tseng, who hadn’t finished what he’d wanted to say yet, and earned an annoyed sigh.  
  
“Don’t interrupt me and listen. I swear, sometimes you are like a child. I wanted to say that I know this won’t help you now, but I always have reasons why I do things in certain ways and why you were the one who got that job. Reno, you’re not second in command for nothing. From all of us, including myself, you were the only one I knew who could do it, the only one where I was sure this particular job wouldn’t break him. I’m not quite saying you should feel honoured, because I know exactly what I had burdened you with. But you’re a tough son of a bitch, Reno. You’re still here and haven’t jumped from a building, and that’s saying a lot. That this mission is still causing you nightmares is… for the lack of a better word… unfortunate, but you know as well as I do that I can’t change that anymore. We all have to face our own demons - I’m sure also Elena and Rude do, and most probably even the president. You already know mine, you’ve seen me at my lowest more than once, so maybe it’s only fair that I also know of your issues now. If it makes you feel better, I guess I could take part of the blame, as I was the one who initially got you into that mess.” Tseng paused. “And to repeat the words a certain redhead told me not too long ago: You don’t have to struggle alone.”  
  
Reno could acknowledge how carefully Tseng had tried to choose those words, which, in his opinion, came pretty close to that apology Tseng said he wouldn’t get from him. Maybe he wasn’t such a cold bastard after all, he thought when he felt Tseng’s hand reach for his thigh as a reassuring gesture during his… speech, knowing full well that the Wutaian never had been and never would be the touchy-feely kind of guy. He shuddered.  
“Ya know Tseng, normally I’d want to fuck ya if ya keep talking to me in that accent of yers, but I guess ya’re out of luck tonight.”  
He earned a dry chuckle from Tseng for that statement. “Try to get some sleep, Reno.”


End file.
